Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

I’m not a photographer, but I can definitely picture your number on my phone.
I would hate to see you go, but I love watching your leaves.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
If you think my Camel pose is impressive, wait until you see my Cobra.
You’re so beautiful even the leaves fall for you.
Call me miles because I want you to complete me every round.
Are you a supermarket sample? Because I don’t want to be ashamed of tasting you over and again.
I want you for myself like Newfoundland has its own time zone.
Are you a burger? Because you can be the meat between my buns.
I don't need Christmas lights, you're already shining so bright.
You must be Australian because you've turned my life upside-down.
Do you need prayer?
Because I'm willing to lay hands on you.
The only crime I will ever commit is stealing your heart.
You breathe oxygen too? We have so much in common!
Are you my training plan? Because I'll go as long as you tell me to.
Can I call you "whom"? Because you're the object — of my affections.
Hey, want to get together sometime since we both have unpaired electrons?
You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
"I hear voices, too. Voices that say, 'If you don't kiss her soon, you're a chump.'"
- Jimmy Stewart, You Can't Take It with You (1938)
No taxation without representation! But, there is a kiss tax. Strictly enforced and right on the lips.
You'll never be as well dressed as I, but I'm willing to give you second place.
Me: Did it hurt?

Her: Did what hurt?

Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Girl, if we were lymphocytes, you’d be a natural killer.
You're as classy as the first Pan Am flight.
So how many cats do you have?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.
You are my loop condition. I keep coming back to you.
I can’t remember my number. Can I please have yours instead?
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’d rather be dead
Than stuck with you!
Hey, do you still remember me? Oh, that’s right. We only met in my dreams.
Can I show you my yellow submarine?
So, are you the kinda guy to Lu-kiss and tell?
I can keep increasing the resistance on my bike, but I just can't resist you.
Hey, can I put you on my emergency contact list?
Your gravitational pull is irresistible!
I can't let it be until I get your number.
Hey girl, I've got an extensive collection of solution manuals. Can I get your number?
Have you ever worked in a hotel?
Then why are you checking me out?
Are those space pants? Cause your ass is out of this world.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Are you a lateral pterygoid because you make my jaw drop.
My love for you is so strong it can’t be dialyzed.
Your eyes are as blue as the sea after a storm.
I can’t find a costume for Halloween, so can I just go as your boyfriend?
Why would you Mary Shelley when you could marry me?
Date me and all of your problems will be polygone.
This morning I saw a beautiful flower, and thought of you.
You need to go out on a date with me right now. Alex-plain later
You make the Queen of Sheba look like a hobo.
You must be Niagara Falls because you’ve taken my breath away.