Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Tex.

Tex who?

Tex two to tango.
Are you into science? Because I lab you so much!
Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koalafications.
Get me some cooling aloe gel, because you are making me as hot as a sunburn.
Hi! Tell me a funny story about your dog. I know you've got one.
I'd love to see you s'more.
Girl, your chromosomes have combined beautifully.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
Hey girl, did you know I'm a cashier?
Because I'm totally checking you out.
Hey girl, my gold medal might be shiny but it looks like a dull penny compared to that sparkle in your eyes
Knock knock!

Who's there?

Ivan.

Ivan who?

Ivan to do something naughty with you.
Hey girl, I put the stud in Bible study.
Are you my new favorite song? Because I'd like to hear you on repeat.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Looking at the sediment grain size scale, it looks like you’re finer than silt.
Hi. Do you remember me? Oh, that’s right—we’ve only met in my dreams.
You are the hottest thing since sunburn.
You’re pretty and I’m damn cute. If we’re together, we would be pretty cute.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I’d go into thousands of dollars of crippling debt just to examine you!
I'm lactose intolerant so please keep your cheesy pick up lines away from me.
Hey is your name Cameron? Cuz I’d love a Camera-n to capture that gorgeous face of yours.
Hey girl… Can I call-cu-later?
Did I just step into an E. M. Forster novel? Because any room with you in it is A Room with a View.
I Tour de Francy you.
I'm an outfielder – I'll catch you.
Did they over chlorinate the pool today or is it you making my head spin?
So how many cats do you have?
Are you a banker?
Because you need to leave me a loan.
What is your favorite yoga pose?
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
I really caribou-t you.
Wow, Charlotte, your name should definitely be Char-hot.
Sedimentary rock has got nothing on the many layers of your amazing personality.
You: It's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section. Because you could melt all this stuff.
Can you hold my gloves for me? I usually wear them by the fireplace, but you are way hotter.
I'm pretty sure I was blind before I met you.
I know somebody that thinks they might like you a lot. And if I wasn’t so shy, I would tell you who it is.
I could work with the elves in the ribbon-tying department because I'm a pretty knotty girl.
Levi's should pay you a royalty.
Are you an alien? Because you just abducted my heart.
I like you a lily bit more every day.
Something tells me we'd make great travel partners.
Can I tie your shoes? I don’t want you falling for anyone else.
Is your name pronounced Ee-an, or Eye-an? I hope it’s the latter cuz I’ve got my Ian you
I wonder if you can help me? I seem to be suffering from a lack of Vitamin U.
Sorry I've been following you...
But my parents told me to chase my dreams.
I can score more often than the average soccer player.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
You'd make for some real smooth sailing
Knock knock!

Who's there?
Al.

Al who?

Al give you a kiss if you open the door.