Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

You know, I don't need energy bars to keep me going.
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
In my nursing class we just learned how to bathe people... can I practice on you?
You Eliza-bet I’m asking you out right away
Is that a telescope in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Are you the future? Because you're looking hopeless and bleak.
You're as intoxicating as a home distilled liquor.
From a frog: Hey baby, it's a future rose from a future prince.
Knock knock!

Who's there?

Mirra.

Mirra who?

Mirra mirra on the wall, you're the fairest of them all.
Baby, you make my rover raise its mast into a vertical position.
Is it a full moon? Because I feel a tidal pull toward your heavenly body.
You are so beautiful that you made me forget my pick up line.
This dog is beautiful. I see he takes after his owner.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
Your bible would look great on my nightstand.
I'm going to have to get a security guard because you're trying to steal my heart.
Can I slip one past your goalie?
Are your legs tired from spinning, or because you've been running through my mind all day?
I know the difference between "less" and "fewer," but don't worry, you won't have to ask me for either of them.
I’m so glad prohibition was repealed, because I’m drunk on you.
Hey, can I put you on my emergency contact list?
Are you Darth Vader, because I wouldn't mind if you used a little force to choke me.
You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!
You must be from Prague, because I can't help but Czech you out.
I just heard some coyotes outside. I don't want to sleep a lone wolf tonight.
This movie is not the only thing in the room that's feature-length.
I was trying to come up with a witty pun but my brain was like Han,nah
I’m not sure the best way to approach you..could you give me a Vivinsider tip?
We're like a 4-Leaf clover. You're the C and I'm the R, and there's love in between us.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Hey babe, now that the season's over, lets go back to my place and watch the highlight film.
You’re just like how I like my potatoes — sweet.
It's really hard for me to plan our wedding without your number.
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
Girl, if you were a dinosaur, you'd be a Gorgeousaurus.
You are the HCl to my NaOH. With our sweet love, we could make an ocean together.
If I was an enzyme, I'd be helicase so I could unzip your genes.
Hey, not sure if I should be telling you this, but I’m a Prince and I’m currently looking for my Cinder-Bella
Shouldn’t we be carbon dating right now? Let’s get on with it.
Knock knock!

Who's there?

Jamaican.

Jamaican who?

Jamaican me horny.
According to the second law of thermodynamics, you’re supposed to share your hotness with me.
Hey baby are you a boxer? You should try it, because your one hell of a knock out!
Are you a sorcerer? Because everyone else vanishes when I look at you.
Date me and all of your problems will be polygone.
What are you doing for the rest of your afterlife?
Let me be a chicken nugget, and take a dip in your sauce.
Are you Christmas? Because I want to Merry you.
You must be calcification on a non-contrast CT, cause you’re just glowing.
Your phone is nice, but it would be even nicer if it had my name on your contact list.
You make my heart skip a beet.