What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
The goal nine yards
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
By the seat of one’s punt
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
We’re calling your number.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
The huddle is real
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
The calm before the score
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
All punts are highly intended
I feel tail great!
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!