Give me some pigskin
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Prepare to be bowled over.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
By the seat of one’s punt
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
I made a snap decision to watch football today
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
I feel tail great!
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
All punts are highly intended
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!