I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.