I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I'd pee on you.
Is your mom a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
You're the thought that counts!
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
I bet your muffled screams are as cute as u.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Antarctica is hot compared to you.
You're so fine that I wouldn't care if you were dead or alive!
I hear you're looking for a stud. Well, I've got the STD and all I need is you.
You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
You look a lot like my next victim.
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
You smell... We should go take a shower together.
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.
How hot does your gas oven get?
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
I like my partners, like how i like my fast-food meals. Extra-large!
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
Are you the future? Because you're looking hopeless and bleak.
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
I'd drink your bathwater.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
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