You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
You smell... We should go take a shower together.
Are you a human? Just making sure.
Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
You're so fine that I wouldn't care if you were dead or alive!
You're the thought that counts!
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
I bet your muffled screams are as cute as u.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.
You look like trash, may I take you out?
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
I hear you're looking for a stud. Well, I've got the STD and all I need is you.
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
I'd drink your bathwater.
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
Hey baby, you got any diseases? Want some?
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
You look a lot like my next victim.
You smell. We should go take a shower together.
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
Is your mom a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Antarctica is hot compared to you.
Damn! You're almost as hot as my sister/brother.
Go to BabaMail
