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Which Jokes

Gnome Puns
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Funny Health Quotes
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
Utensils Puns
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Nuts Puns
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
I like you about 1/18 as much as I like a Pumpkin Spice Latte, which is to say “I love you forever, let’s get married.”
Pot Puns
"Can you help me get this pots and pans drawer in order? Something seems stuck here", My wife said one morning.
To which I said, "Sure honey, I hope this pans out"
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
Do you know which aisle the edible underwear is in? Oh, wait, wrong store!
Yard Puns
Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?
Gnomads.
Kitchen Puns
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
Australians usually boo meringue.
Friendship Quotes
“We’ve been friends for so long, I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.”
— Unknown
Mall Pick Up Lines
Are you good at finding things? Because I think you may have found my heart. Also, I don't know which zone I parked my car into so I need help with that too. Thanks!
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