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Themselves Jokes

Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.
Italy Puns
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
Meat Puns
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Irish Puns
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
Band Puns
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
Hair Puns
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Funny Money Quotes
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
Pea Puns
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Flamingo Puns
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
Rainbow Puns
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
Zombie Puns
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
Spain Puns
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
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