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Sell Jokes

Puns
I'm looking to sell my DeLorean. Good shape, low mileage...
Only driven from time to time.
Oral Hygiene Puns
I'm looking to sell my toothpaste collection.
Don't worry, they're all in mint condition.
Mummy Puns
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Meat Puns
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Irish Puns
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
Ancient Rome Puns
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
Deer Puns
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
Onion Puns
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack‬
A Blonde By Any Other Name
A Blonde By Any Other Name A blonde walked into an electronics store and said to the salesmen: "I want that TV." The salesperson shook his head and said, "No, we don't sell to blondes." So the blonde left and came back with her hair dyed brown and said: "I'll take that TV." Again the salesman said: "No, we don't sell to blondes." So she left again and came back with a hat, a fake nose and with her hair dyed black and said: "I want that TV." But the salesman still said: "sorry, we don't sell to blondes." Finally the blonde got fed up and said, "That's it! How do you keep guessing I'm a blonde?!" she asked. "Because that's a microwave."
Yard Puns
I'm always really disappointed when I pull up to a yard sale...
And they aren't willing to sell me any of their yards.
Soap Puns
A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
I think it was Scampoo.
Toucan Puns
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
Airport Puns
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
Spain Puns
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
Enrique Doubleglazius.
Pea Puns
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
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