The theoretic turtle started out to see the toad;
He came to a stop at a liberty-pole in the middle of the road.
“Now how, in the name of the spouting whale,” the indignant turtle cried,
“Can I climb this perpendicular cliff, and get on the other side?
If I only could make a big balloon, I’d lightly over it fly;
Or a very long ladder might reach the top, though it does look fearfully high.
If a beaver were in my place, he’d gnaw a passage through with his teeth;
I can’t do that, but I can dig a tunnel and pass beneath.”
He was digging his tunnel, with might and main, when a dog looked down at the hole.
“The easiest way, my friend,” said he, “is to walk around the pole.”
(Amos Russel Wells)
A young man approaches a fisherman standing in the river.
He waves to the fisherman and says, "Wow, great pole you've got there!" The fisherman smiles, gives a slight nod, and says, "thank you!"
"And man, that's some of the coolest tackle I've ever seen!"
The fisherman smiles and nods proudly, "Thank you!"
"Some high-quality bait, too."
"Thanks again!" says the fisherman with a big smile.
The young man peers down into the river, curious.
"You know," He says. "The fish don't really come through here this time of year."
"Yeah, I know." Shrugged the fisherman.
"Then what are you fishing for?"
"Compliments."
A pharmacist comes back from his lunch to the pharmacy.
As he approaches, he sees a man outside the pharmacy clutching onto a pole for dear life, barely breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle, just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist goes up to his assistant and asks: "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"
"Yes he was." Replies the assistant. "He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help."
"Well, he seems to be fine now."
"Sure he does. I gave him a box of laxatives. Now he won't dare cough!"
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