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Female Jokes

France Puns
What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
Mushroom Puns
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
Dad Jokes
How to determine the gender of your cat?
pour some milk in a bowl and place it next to the cat, if she drinks it, your cat is a female, but if he drinks it, the cat is a male
Flight Puns
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
Tiger Puns
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
Puns
The female janitor at my office asked me if I would like to smoke some weed with her.
I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women.
April Fools Jokes
What do you call a female clown?
April Fools.
I Want...
I Want... A drunk falls into a cab, gives the cabbie a $20 bill and bellows "I wanna get screwed." The cabbie dutifully drives him to the 'burbs and points out a town house. The drunk staggers up to the front door, bangs on it, and screams "I wanna get screwed!" A female voice answers, "Slip $100 under the door." The drunk pushes $100 under the door. Nothing happens. After a while the drunk bangs on the door again and screams "I wanna get screwed!" The female voice answers, "What? Again!?"
Ancient Rome Puns
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
Utensils Puns
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
Radio Puns
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
Deer Puns
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
Mall Pick Up Lines
Hey I need a female opinion - what do you think would look better on me, this or this?
Crocodile Puns
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
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