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Eventually Jokes

Baseball Pick Up Lines
If you date me, you'll eventually see a diamond.
Wifi Puns
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Family Puns
My grandparents disowned me after I joined the trades as a brick-layer.
They eventually reconciled after I got a promotion, but still consider me as a meh-son.
Strawberry Puns
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
Planet Puns
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
Jokes For Women
How are splinters better than a man?
Splinters are a pain, but they go away eventually.
Quotes
“When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”
Rita Rudner
Funny Work Quotes
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
Peach Puns
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
Trumpet Puns
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
The Familiar Old Man
The Familiar Old Man One day when Jesus was relaxing in Heaven, He happened to notice a familiar-looking old man. Wondering if the old man was His father Joseph, Jesus asked him, "Did you, by any chance, ever have a son?" "Yes," said the old man, "but he wasn't my biological son. He was born by a miracle, by the intervention of a magical being from the heavens." "Very interesting," said Jesus. "Did this boy ever have to fight temptation?" "Oh, yes, many times," answered the old man. "But he eventually won. Unfortunately, he heroically died at one point, but he came back to life shortly afterwards." Jesus couldn't believe it. Could this actually be HIS father? "One last question," He said. "Were you a carpenter?" "Why yes," replied the old man. "Yes I was!" Jesus rubbed His eyes and said, "Dad?" The old man rubs tears from his eyes and said, "Pinocchio?"
Marriage Puns
Went to ask my girlfriend's father for his daughter's hand in marriage.
He replied: "Give me one good reason you'd make a good husband or even a decent father or I'm leaving!"
I thought long and hard, and eventually said: "Hi leaving I'm John!"

The wedding is next month.
Turkey Puns
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
Dolphin Puns
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
Funny Parenting Quotes
“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.”

- Bill Cosby.
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