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Checks Jokes

Koala Puns
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
Rejection Pick Up Lines
Man: "Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time."
Woman: "You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing checks that your body can't cash."
Chuck Norris Jokes
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Blonde Jokes
A blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"
Physics Puns
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
Poop Puns
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
Funny Money Quotes
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
Basketball Puns
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
Blond Jokes
An blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.

Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.

Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"
Grammar Puns
A bit late but here goes anyway: what do you call the elf who checks Santa's grammar?
A subordinate claus!
Science Puns
Good science always checks itself before it wrecks itself.
Squirrel Puns
Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested?
He was foraging checks.
One Liners and Short Jokes
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian checks her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
The man replies, "Yes, that's the one."
How to Get Regular Visits
How to Get Regular Visits A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patio and speaking to each other about their grandchildren. "I send gifts, greeting cards and checks to my grandchildren," complains one, "and still they barely visit me!" The second old lady said "Oh I too send checks to my grandchildren and they visit me all the time!" "You are so fortunate to have more grateful grandchildren than my own." said the first one sadly. The second old lady smiled: "No my grandchildren are about as grateful as yours." "So what do YOU do different? Are your checks bigger than mine?" Asked the first one, surprised. "No," chuckled the other old lady, "I just don't sign mine."
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