Arrested Jokes

Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
The next door beaver couple got arrested for illegal streaming.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
How to Get People Off Drugs Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for doing drugs. The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday and you better have gotten some results or you're going straight to jail." On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it? " "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "Wow!" says the judge. "156 people! How did you manage to do that?" "Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says. "I drew two circles like this: o O. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your sphincter before prison... '"
My girlfriend was arrested for assault using an iron skillet
We'll see how this pans out but I think she's fried.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
The painting was framed, so the cops arrested it.
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
Were you arrested today? It must be illegal to look so beautiful.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
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