Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
"It's not me, it's you!"
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
You are so right. And I am so left.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
I think we need to become better strangers.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
We're donion rings.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
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