Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
You look like my future ex wife.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
You are so right. And I am so left.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
We should make like your parents and split.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
"It's not me, it's you!"
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
We're donion rings.
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