Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
I think we need to become better strangers.
"It's not me, it's you!"
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
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