Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
You looked better when I was drunk.
You are so right. And I am so left.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
I think we need to become better strangers.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
I really like you. So does my wife.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.