Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
We should make like your parents and split.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
You look like my future ex wife.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
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