I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
I think we need to become better strangers.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
You looked better when I was drunk.
"It's not me, it's you!"
You are so right. And I am so left.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Go to BabaMail
