Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
We should make like your parents and split.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
I think we need to become better strangers.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
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