What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
We should make like your parents and split.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
I really like you. So does my wife.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.