I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
I think we need to become better strangers.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
You looked better when I was drunk.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
"You deserve better and so do I."
We should make like your parents and split.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.