Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
"My cat doesn't like you."
I think we need to become better strangers.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
You are so right. And I am so left.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
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