Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
I really like you. So does my wife.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
We should make like your parents and split.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
You are so right. And I am so left.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
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