It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
You look like my future ex wife.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Let’s make like a banana and split.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
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