What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".