Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.