Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.