Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.