If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.