Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.