Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
How hot does your gas oven get?
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
I like my partners, like how i like my fast-food meals. Extra-large!
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
Are you the future? Because you're looking hopeless and bleak.
You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
You're the thought that counts!
You look like trash, may I take you out?
You look a lot like my next victim.
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
I hear you're looking for a stud. Well, I've got the STD and all I need is you.
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.
Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
Hey baby, you got any diseases? Want some?
I'm willing to lower my standards if you're going on a date with me.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
Do you have to leave so soon? I was just going to poison your drink.
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.