On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
I hear you're looking for a stud. Well, I've got the STD and all I need is you.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
I'd drink your bathwater.
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
I bet your muffled screams are as cute as u.
How hot does your gas oven get?
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
You smell. We should go take a shower together.
Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
You look like trash, may I take you out?
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
You look a lot like my next victim.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I'd pee on you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Antarctica is hot compared to you.
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
Are you a human? Just making sure.
Damn! You're almost as hot as my sister/brother.
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
I dreamt about you. You died.
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
Do you have to leave so soon? I was just going to poison your drink.
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.