Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
Are you the future? Because you're looking hopeless and bleak.
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
Are you a human? Just making sure.
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
I dreamt about you. You died.
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
You smell... We should go take a shower together.
I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
Damn! You're almost as hot as my sister/brother.
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
Roses are red, violets are blue, Antarctica is hot compared to you.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
I'd drink your bathwater.
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
You're so fine that I wouldn't care if you were dead or alive!
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I'd pee on you.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
You're the thought that counts!
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.
Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
I bet your muffled screams are as cute as u.
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
Do you have to leave so soon? I was just going to poison your drink.