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Stick Jokes

Witch Puns
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
Halloween Pick Up Lines
I hear this house is haunted… we better stick together.
Funny Break Up Lines
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Utensils Puns
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
Cosmetics Puns
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick....
She still isn't talking to me.
Werewolf Puns
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
What Reincarnation is All About
A soldier is reading a book while off duty when he sees his sergeant coming. Everyone hated sergeant Thompson, he always had a big stick up his bum. "Private." "Sergeant Thompson, Sir!" the soldier said, standing up smartly. "At ease." The soldier gladly returned to his book... until he realized the sergeant is still standing over him, staring at the cover. "Yes, Sarge?" "What's that rubbish you're reading there, private? Re..incar..nation? What's that all about?" "Well," smiles the soldier, "It's pretty simple sir. Say you died, God forbid, and we buried you. Then a few months later grass grew on that plot of land. Then a cow came and ate that grass. As nature dictates, a few hours later it passes it through its stomachs and dumps it out on the ground... Then I would walk by and say: "Hey Sarge, you haven't changed a bit!""
Marriage Puns
My dad always said, “Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
Tiger Puns
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
Corona Virus Jokes
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
Funny Work Quotes
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
Onion Puns
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
Hockey Pick Up Lines
Life is better when we stick together.
I’m a hockey player; of course my stick is curved!
Funny Animal Quotes
“We’ve all done this because we’re so mature. You see a cow on the side of the road, stick your head out the window and go, “Mooooo!” Like we expect the cow to think, “Hey, there’s another cow, driving that car! How can he afford that?”

- Garry Shandling.
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
That Kenyan black smells wonderful! May I try it? Normally I stick to English Breakfast, but I’m always open to experimenting.