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Jump Jokes

Tree Puns
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Ski Puns
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
The Same Old Sandwich
There was a Redhead man, a Bald Man and a Blond man working on the top of a cliff. The Redhead said, "You know, every day it's the same sandwich my wife makes me. I'm so sick of it. If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff." The Bald man said, "Right there with you my friend. If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The Blond man said, "With you all the way chaps, If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The next day, the Redhead man had cheese, the Bald man had ham, and the Blond man had jam. So they all jumped. At the funerals, the wives of the Redhead man and the bald man said, "Why didn't they just TELL us they didn't like their sandwiches??" The Blond's wife said in tears, "I don't understand it... He made his own sandwiches!"
Funny Animal Quotes
“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz
Funny Parenting Quotes
“There’s no such thing as ready. You just jump on a moving train and you try not to die.”

- A Dad, ‘What To Expect When You Are Expecting.’
Pea Puns
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Closet Puns
I think the final paragraph of my essay is on the top shelf...
But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
Frog Puns
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
Hand Puns
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
Koala Puns
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
The Asylum Breakout
Two men are in a lunatic asylum and one night, they decide they don’t like living in an asylum any more. They decide they’re going to escape! They get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight to freedom. The first man jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn’t dare make the leap, afraid of falling. So then, the first man has an idea… He says, 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I’ll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' The second man immediately spots the problem with this and shakes his head. ' "What do you think I am? Crazy? You’d turn it off when I was half way across!"
Goat Puns
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
Kangaroo Puns
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Mexican Pick Up Lines
I jumped the border to America
so I bet I can jump the border to you're heart.