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Handle Jokes

Closet Puns
Why was the cabinet maker fired on his first day?
He just couldn't get a handle on it.
Hair Puns
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Pot Puns
I tried smoking pot once.
I choked on the handle.
Mexican Pick Up Lines
Ay caramba! You're hotter than a jalapeño. I better wear a glove when I handle you!
Tableware Puns
What side of the mug is the handle on?
The outside.
Dolphin Puns
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
Witch Puns
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
Juice Puns
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
Orange Puns
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
Funny Animal Quotes
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."

- John Steinbeck.
Monster Puns
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
Zombie Puns
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
Elf Puns
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Friendship Quotes
“God made up best friends because he knew our mom couldn’t handle us as sisters.”
— Unknown
Utensils Puns
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!