Jokes > Tags > Faster Jokes

Faster Jokes

Funny Parenting Quotes
"Children are a great comfort in your old age- and they help you reach it faster too." – Lionel Kauffman
“The only thing that kids wear out faster than shoes is their parents.”

- John J. Plomp.
Flower Puns
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Coffee Puns
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
The Tiny Firefighter
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," he said with admiration. "Thanks," the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer and discovered to his horror that the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," the firefighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." "You're probably right," The girl replied thoughtfully, "but then I wouldn't have a siren."
Lightning Puns
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
Chuck Norris Jokes
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Travel Puns
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
Computer Puns
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Funny Limericks
There was a young woman named Bright,
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day,
In a relative way,
and returned on the previous night.
Are You Pick Up Lines
Are you a dentist? Because my heart beats faster when I see you.
Funny Aging Quotes
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
Quotes
“A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”
Denis Waitley
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
George Carlin
Funny Money Quotes
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
One Liners and Short Jokes
According to physics, light travels faster than sound. If that is really the case, why can I hear the car behind me honk before I see the traffic lights change?