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Certain Jokes

Flight Puns
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
Beach Puns
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
Funny Work Quotes
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
Band Puns
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
Funny Animal Quotes
“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz
Hockey Puns
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
Weather Puns
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I’ve got it right.)
Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I’d better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

(Laura E. Richards)
France Puns
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.