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Alone Jokes

Garden Puns
If a man is alone in the garden and speaks, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
Leaf me alone.
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
I have a personal rule to never eat chocolate alone.
Shower Puns
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
I always like to keep my place stocked with coffee and breakfast food in case I don't wake up alone.
Peach Puns
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
Friendship Quotes
“Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.”
— Unknown
Are You Pick Up Lines
Are you alone? Nice to meet you, me too.
The Ghostly Advice
When I was about 7 years old, I accompanied my father to the funeral of a co-worker of his, someone I didn't even know. When we got there, I stood in a corner waiting for the time to pass. A bitter looking man approached me and said, "Enjoy life kid, enjoy it because time flies. Look at me now, I didn't enjoy it." Then he passed his hand over my head and left. My father, before leaving took me with him to pay honors to his friend. When I looked in the coffin, I was horrified to see that the man in the coffin was the same man who had spoken to me!! I was so traumatized I couldn't sleep properly. I had terrible nightmares. I was terrified of being alone. I saw many psychologists, endured much turmoil throughout my adolescent years. It got better as I aged, but I would still occasionally wake up screaming in fear. It was many years later when I discovered something remarkable that completely changed my life. That bastard had a twin.
Funny Parenting Quotes
“Parenting is a constant battle between going to bed to catch up on some sleep or staying awake to finally get some alone time.” — Anonymous
Weather Puns
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
Mermaid Puns
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Funny Break Up Lines
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Deer Puns
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
Elvis Pick Up Lines
I don't want to be alone. Help me make it through the night.