Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Grasshoppers do not fancy soccer matches because most of them prefer cricket matches.
Give me some pigskin
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
Why did the barber win the race?
He took a short cut!
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Who's got a penchant for spearing? Pronger!
The reason why soccer players are brilliant in math is because they know how to use their heads well.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
What happens if you run in front of a car?
You get tired.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
[Pool Noodle] That’s using your noodle!
By the seat of one’s punt
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath!
My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
Beauty is only pig skin deep