How did the octopuses win the football match?
Ten tackles
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They aren't allowed to travel.
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.
The moto of their school bowling team was ‘let’s knock em down’.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
Here’s more proof that I’ve gone off the deep end.
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
What happens if you run in front of a car?
You get tired.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Calm before the score
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
What does a volleyball player do when they go to prom? They spike the punch.
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Where do spiders play football?
Webley Stadium.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.