Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.