There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.