How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.