What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.