If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.