What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
