What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
Wish upon a starfish.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Aerial.
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
You really mermaid my day.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Don't fork-get your manners.
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
Did you know that unicorns live in New York City? I swear why do you think their called uNYCorns?
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Fishing you a happy day.
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Shell-abrate the good times!
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!