Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.