What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!