How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.