Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Go big or go gnome.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
