Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

Knock knock.

Who's there?

My divorce attorney
Are you a bank loan? Well, you’ve certainly got my interest.
If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
Roses should learn what it means to be perfect from you.
Are you a rusty bike? Because you gonna squeak and scream when I ride you tonight.
I love analyzing texts, but you haven't sent me any.
Hey, baby, you’re not Paradise Lost, you’re Paradise Regained.
I can die happily now because I have just seen a piece of heaven.
I've got some wicked feelings brewing for you.
Even the most powerful storms of Jupiter couldn’t keep me from you!
Are you a photographer? Because I grin every time, I see you.
Excuse me, could you point me toward the Self-Help section? I need some advice on how to approach a gorgeous guy in a bookstore without seeming creepy.
Knock knock!

Who's there?

Tex.

Tex who?

Tex two to tango.
Help me score one more time for team Canada?
You have beautiful eyes. Oh, wait, those are your wings. Why you gotta be so scary?
I hope your day is as radiant as your smile.
I love you more than my mom loves Céline Dion.
Let’s get drinks this weekend. Are you Lilli-an, or Lilli-out?
Do you know the difference between a wasps and a bee? A wasp is mean and aggressive… but Abby is sweet and cute
Please keep your distance. I might fall for you.
Girl, your skin is so smooth, and you smell good just like some new shoes.
Well, I have to say I am William-pressed with you
You’re just like how I like my potatoes — sweet.
You must be copper because I always cu in my dreams.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
Hi, Cupid just called. He wanted me to tell you that he needs my heart back. Would you do that?
Okay, here’s the deal: I’ll let you take the last stuffed crust frozen pizza if you let me take you to dinner. At your house. Where we’ll be having frozen pizza.
Man: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
Woman: Maybe once. I never make the same mistake twice!
Are you that one more chapter? You keep me awake most of the time.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Do you like whales? Cause I was thinking that we could "humpback" at my place.
I'm no Jane, but I'd Eyre on the side of saying I think you're beautiful.
You couldn't cut the s*xual tension in here with a Yellowknife.
Girl, if I am epsilon, will you be my delta?
You may be flightless but you make my heart soar.
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself...
You feel like that old book tucked away in a corner – one look at it still makes my heart skip a beat.
When I see you, I feel like I am going to reach my melting point.
There’s an earthquake in my heart, and you’re the epicenter.
"You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen foods section—because you could melt all this stuff."
- Steve Martin, My Blue Heaven (1990)
I heard they just opened up a new Lego store. Let's see if we can't build something together!
Is your tent erect yet or do you need help with that?
I’m not part of the Prohibition Movement. You can speakeasy to me.
You should go back to my house and make it hot. It was so cold at night.
Your voice is so a-do-re-ble to mi
"Don't ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn't fall in love, I rose in it."
― Toni Morrison, Jazz
I’m not usually one for Austin-tatious pickup lines, but I decided to make an exception for you.
If a star fell every time I thought of you, the sky would be dark at night.
I want you more then an ice-cream on a hot summer day.