A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
The calm before the score
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
All punts are highly intended
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
By the seat of one’s punt
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
We’re calling your number.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
I feel tail great!
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.