I made a snap decision to watch football today
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
The goal nine yards
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
The huddle is real
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
The calm before the score
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
I like your tight end
All punts are highly intended
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Give me some pigskin
Having a ball
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Case in punt
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Football is one habit I will never kick
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.