Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
Case in punt
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
The calm before the score
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
We’re calling your number.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
All punts are highly intended
Give me some pigskin
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
I feel tail great!
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
I like big punts and I cannot lie
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
I like your tight end