I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
By the seat of one’s punt
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Prepare to be bowled over.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
All punts are highly intended
Having a ball
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!