"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!