I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business