It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.