Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
The superconductor left without resistance.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.