Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
The sun is just a big space heater.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.